The surfer and the hacker
by BenevolentPariah
Summary: Sollux is a grade A hacker, but the only thing he can't find on the internet, is love...
1. Chapter 1

The air is hot, two bodies lay in a still motion on the floor next to each other, a boy with short messy brown hair raised his hand in a slow motion, "Hey Karkat, you still with me?" The boy slowly began to lightly nudge the body next to him, the body released a slow groan as it began to move slightly at the touch. "Hey Karkat, you still with me, god damn it you don't answer me soon, I'm going to download so much porn on your computer, even I won't be able to fix it."

"Go ahead, I will just ask your dad to fix it instead." The body began to sit up right, a pale skin boy turned around and looked at his friend, his black hair was up in his natural spiked up look, bags rest heavily under his candy red eyes he hated so much, shown that he hadn't had a goodnights rest in a while. "Sollux, tell me again, why in the fuck are we lying down in your living room again?"

"You got me, Kk." Sollux sat upright as the hot air rushed to meet the sweat on his back. His body was drench in sweat, Sollux raised his left arm up to check the time on his watch, it was 9:30am, usually he sleeps in till at the lest 2, but the heat was so unbearable he couldn't help but wake up earlier than expected. "Now I remember why we were on the ground, it's cooler down there." And with a single draw of his breath, both he and Karkat fell back down.

"Hey sup guys!" The front door of Sollux's house burst open, a boy around 5'10 flies in on a skateboard landing near Karkat's head. "Man is it hot outside, I mean you can probably cook an egg on my hamlet."

"What the actual fuck man, you almost took off my head." Karkat shoots up and stares at the odd stranger, Karkat sits straight up and begins to have a slight panic attack, he raises his hand to his chest and takes a couple of deep breaths and relaxes a little.

"Oh hey Kankri, what are you doing here? I thought you were arguing with Meenah about which type of fish taste better with a coconut." The stranger took off his helmet to revile his long, curly, brown hair that almost covered his eyes. His torn jeans and wrinkled yellow shirt made him look slightly skinny.

"Mituna, what the hell are you doing home so soon, I thought you were out with Latula?" Sollux asked his slightly older brother, who was rushing into his room. Sollux got up off the floor and processed to close the front door, whenever Mituna gets home he always forgets to do something, one time Mituna almost burned down their house after making their whole family pancakes. Never. Again.

As Sollux turns around he discovers his older brother has his favorite swimming shorts and rash guard on, "Well we were at the skate park, and we were having a good time, and then we heard lots of shouting, and then we went to go check it out and the waves are here a lot earlier than we expected, so we are going to do our thing. You guys wanna tag along?"

Sollux looks over in Karkat's direction, he had move off the floor and was now laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling fan as it slowly move, "Why not, it probably beats cooking inside this oven you call a house." Karkat slowly stands up stretches and makes his way to the front door. "I'll be right back I'm going to go grab my broad and cloths." Halfway out the front door Karkat turns around and smoothly says, "If y'all leave without me, I swear to god, Sollux I will get Kankri to tell you about kuil's and how it is a measurement."

"Hey I'm not the one driving." Sollux says as he closes the door behind Karkat.

"Bye Kankri!" Mituna shouts out as the door closes, Sollux calmly walks into his room to look for his swimming trunks before he hears Mituna at the door, "So little man, are you going to actually surf this time, or are you going to sit under the umbrella and hack into the world network or something?"

"Maybe, who knows I might even make you the president of the united world." Sollux says with no hint of sarcasm in his voice, he was putting on his rash guard, to Mituna's surprise Sollux was pretty ripped for being a so called "hacker".

Mituna walks into Sollux's room and jumps onto his bed, "If you do make sure I'm the first president that flew into space and killed the monkey men from galaxy 72 and saved the lovely princess Latula from the flying wave of doom." Mituna then made an explosion noise and begins to chuckle.

Sollux glared at his brother who made a mess of his bed, Mituna who felt that glare more in his life time to count, gave Sollux his I'm sorry puppy dogs and began to fix Sollux's bed, "If I did, where does that leave me in my supposedly cool brothers shadow? Last time I checked our last name wasn't Strider."

Mituna hops off of Sollux's bed and starts walking out of the room before finally turning around, "Hey, don't worry, I'll get you a cardboard box and put it behind the white house so you can live in it."

Sollux turns around and flips off Mituna, "Just go get the damn broads, before your quote, unquote "rad" girlfriend gets here, I feel like leaving early and catching some waves so I can relax." Sollux walks over to his laptop and starts packing up his "on the road" laptop equipment.

"Ay, ay captain hard drive!" Mituna did a salute towards Sollux and the processed to run off towards their backyard, before Sollux could change his into black and yellow shorts, Mituna runs back towards Sollux's room and shouts, "Wait, which broad do you want, the twinArmageddon or the bicyclops?" Sollux gave Mituna a stern look, "Right, you don't care, gotcha." He then turned his head around and processed to go grab their surf broads.

_What am I going to do with him, _Sollux asked himself, but ever since what happen that day, he has to do his best to repay Mituna as much as he can, even if it meant doing things he was uncomfortable doing, but he knew whatever he does he could never repay his older brother. As Sollux finishes getting change he heard a knock on his room door, "Hey dual eyes, you ready?"

Sollux turns around to see his most trust worthy friend, "Hey Kk, you got here faster than I expected." Karkat stood in the doorway wearing his all gray trunks and a very small gray t-shirt that was tight on his body you can see the outline of his muscles, ever since Karkat has been working out with the Striders, he started to surf shirtless. This made him seem like a douche, but being friends with him since they were in pre-k Sollux got use to it pretty fast. "You ready to pwnd some waves?"

Karkat raised his left eyebrow, "So are you actually going to surf this time, or are you going to try and talk to mystery girl again through the web?" Sollux just walked past Karkat with his bag on, and continued walking steadily towards his kitchen, "So depending on our choice of cloths you're actually going to surf."

"No, I just wanted to wear this because it makes me feel comfortable." Sollux explain before he opens up a cupboard and grabbing two glasses, he walks over to the sink and starts to fill both of the glasses with water before a question arose in his mind. "Did you actually remember to bring your broad this time or do we have to rush and get it?"

Sollux turns around and hand Karkat a cup, "It's out back, Mituna offered to wax for me, he then processed to beg and I swear when I was about to say no, I could see tears about to form." Karkat takes a swig of his water before setting down the cup. "So I said what the hell and now he is waxing it."

"Short version is, that your broads out back?" Sollux said before he chugged down the whole cup of water.

"Basically." Karkat stated as if his long and meaningful story was supposed to be important, but to Sollux all he cared about was finally getting a taste of the salt water he'd been missing since he went with his dad and Mituna on a "family road trip" to China for springbreak. "So how goes the hunt for mystery girl going?"

"Kk let me level with you on this one, I manage to hack into the schools data base and I've been cross checking the classes she has been in when we message and narrowing down the statics of how she acts, thinks, and her gpa, plus trying to figure out who actually have a crush on the schools bee." Sollux reaches inside his bag and pulls out his special blue and red sunglasses he loved so much, if you made fun of them he would change you grades from whatever they were into nothing into F's before you can blink. As he wipes them clear he raises to his face, "I ain't got shit."

Karkat picks up his cup and begins to walk over to his usual spot on Sollux's couch, Karkat plop down and began to take a light drink of his water before he sets it down on the coffee table in front him. "Dude you sure it's even a chick anymore, I mean it could be a guy using you as a joke for his dick of a bunch of his friends, or he can be gay for all we know."

Sollux raises his hand as if he was about to flip off his friend before a girl slammed Sollux's front door, her long hair was flowing from the breeze she created she took a long deep breath before she shouted at the top of her lungs, "MIIIITUNNNA BABY I'M HERE!" the female intruder stops and looks at Sollux like a dog eyeing a piece of steak, "Hiii Sollux, where's my handsome beehive at?"

"He is in the back, and can you stop shouting every time you come over, I still like hearing." Sollux raises his right index finger and sticks it in his ear moving it up and down, as if he was trying to regain his hearing back.

"Agreed." Karkat shouted back at the female insides his friend's house, he was clinging to a pillow as if he was a cat startled by water, but Sollux really couldn't blame him, if they switch places Sollux would of probably done the same thing, "As for the shouting," Karkat took a deep inhale for air as if he was going to be his last breath, "THAT'S MY JOB LATULA!"

Latula, jumped back in shock at Karkat's roar, she then rested her hand on her chest, she was wearing a usual teal full body suit with a baggy red t-shirt that use to belong to Mituna that he gave to her during their four month anniversary, "Man, the rumors are true, you Vantas have freaking high ass lung capacity, hell you don't need a scuba gear to go deep sea diving, all you got to do is just hold your breath and you can find Atlantis." With that statement Sollux let out a nice chuckle before Karkat shot him a keep-laughing-and-I-will-spill-coffee-all-over-you -laptop look. "And if I were you, I calm down at me, cause guess who's waiting in the car."

Karkat's facial emotion switch from anger into anticipation, like a puppy going out on his second walk, "Is she really in there, I mean," with a grunt of his voice he tried to sound slightly more calm "yeah that cool. You know not like I'm happy or anything." If Karkat skin tone was slightly less tan his cheeks would have been a nice shade of pink.

"Yeah, she's in there and she is planning on surfing today, and so do I, now, can we please hurry this up, it's hot as balls in here dude." Latula wiped a river of sweat from her forehead before turning her hand into a fan, "Well I'm going to go get my beehive, you guys can go to the car if you want." She then turned around and skipped out of the front door and made her way to the back of their house.

In anticipation Karkat grabbed his glass off the coffee table and shoots it down in one smooth motion, he then rushed to the bathroom to start checking up on himself, "Hey, do I look okay man, I mean is my hair fine, anything in my teeth?" Karkat then ran out of the bathroom and rushed up to Sollux until they were face to face, "How's my breath? Does it smell good?" he then shot a breath of minty freshness into Sollux's nostrils which made him back up a little in.

"Dude you're fine, but I think your breath is to minty fresh, shit almost knocked me out clean." Sollux's put both of his hands on Karkat's shoulders, "Look every things gonna be alright, okay, you got this man, and look we both know she's been digging you man, so just breath and act natural, okay?" Sollux was usually good at calming down Karkat when he reached these typed of situations, and just like in the past, he manage to get Karkat to take two deep breaths and in seconds he was relaxed.

"You guys coming or what." Mituna shouted out as he set both Sollux's and Karkat's freshly waxed boards by the front door, both Sollux and Karkat nodded at the same time and rushed out the front door…


	2. Chapter 2

The car ride was slightly hotter than inside of Sollux's house, although he only lived 15 minutes from the bay, the car ride was much faster, in the car everybody was drowned out by the noise of the radio, which killed Karkat's chat with Latula's little sister, Terezi, although she is blind she could shred any wave you throw at her, and just like her sister she was wearing a teal rash guard but instead of a shirt she was wearing white swimming trunks with little blue flowers on them, she also wore a solid red pair of glasses, they were talking about what they usually talk about, which was just arguing about whatever t.v show they just both watch or in Terezi's case, heard.

The car stopped at a screeching halt in the parking lot at the beach, "Okay, little ones, out of the car you guys go meet up with the rest of the group, we are going to find a place to park alright." Although she was really chill she still acted like a giant aunt to the group. "Make sure you meet up with them first before you hit the waves." Everybody in the backseat of the car hopped out faster than you can blink grabbing their boards off the top of Latula's car.

Before they ran onto the beach Terezi turn to her sister and in a calm voice said, "Don't worry, besides one of those pesky Ampora's owes me money." Terezi was a very smart girl, and just like their mother, was aiming to be a lawyer, which meant that she had to get in arguments with almost everybody just to prove a point, which is probably why she was the head captain in the speech and debate team, and if you didn't catch her studying, she would take the time off and either play D&D with some of their friends or she would role play with them. Either way it made her forget sometimes she was in the real world.

"How much does he owe you this time?" Sollux asked, he knew that if you tried to gamble against her, you end up owing more money to her than you would with a cheating card shark, lucky for her when it came to the Amporas, they were loaded with money and they never like being proven wrong. This made sense as to why she always picked them to make a bet with.

"I made about 165 bones off Eridan's ass." Terezi exclaim with pride in her voice before she threw a hand and grabbed Karkat's board so that he can lead her to the rest of the group, she knew that she could always squeeze a few bucks off of Eridan when she needs the money, and she always knew what made him tick.

"You know one of these days he is going to notice how you been scamming him, and stop your flow of money like that." Karkat made a snap noise towards Terezi so she can hear it perfectly, he was really good friends with Eridan as well but he could never bring himself to tell Eridan about Terezi's con's due to his deeply crush on her. "I mean he is dumb, but he is not that dumb."

"Even if he does, I got enough money from him to last me a while, now shut up and keep walking." Terezi push down the end of his board almost smacking him in the face, Karkat dodged it just in time before it hit him making him almost drop his board. Karkat let out a thankful sigh before he was punched in the back by Terezi as a sign to keep moving.

"Do you see them anywhere?" Sollux didn't show no sign of remorse of Karkat's suffering. All he wanted to do was hurry up and surf, he could hear the waves where calling his name, so was his mystery girl, so all he wanted to do was hurry and set up.

"There over there!" Terezi shouted and pointed towards some random direction, both Sollux and Karkat fell for it, looked back at Terezi who was making an overly happy face while waving her hands in front of her reminding them that she was completely blind, she loved playing pranks like that no matter who it was and she loved every second of it.

"Hey look is that, yup I know that tattoo from anywhere." Karkat started leading the trio over to a girl whose skin was really tan, she had a really long continues tattoo that ran from the back of her hands all around her body, making her look as elegant as possible. Unlike most people on the beach her outfit was a pure black bikini top that really made her breast pop, with a perfect view of her cleavage, she wore a pink skirt that started just below her hip bones, the back end sat at top her plush rump, in her hand was a surf board that had beautiful Hawaiian hibiscus, design on it.

"Hey it's mama Porrim!" Terezi shouted out at the top of her lungs pushing Karkat to move faster towards their friends, and the waves. When the beautiful woman turned around you can see her perfectly applied make-up and had a very thick amount of black lipstick on.

As soon as the trio got towards the Porrim, there was a fist that greeted the top of Terezi's head, "What did I say about calling me that, the older you make a girl sound and feel, the older she looks." It was as if it came out of an anime, Terezi made a grumpy face towards Porrim's direction while rubbing one hand where she was hit on her head. "Hey, don't look at me like that, you where the one calling me mama."

"I'm not the only one who calls you mama Porrim." Everybody called her mama Porrim, cause out of everybody, she was the one who took care of everybody in the group as if she was their mother, at first it got on everybody nerves but, now, whenever anybody is in trouble they would of ran to mama Porrim for help, but they never called her mama Porrim to her face, most of the time, considering her lifelong goal is to look the same at the age of 100.

"You know Porrim, they say that if you get angry it makes you look 25 years older, so if I were you I would clam myself down." A girl slightly older than Sollux came strolling amongst the crowd, she was around 5'7, she was wearing a jade green see-through beach skirt with a black one piece bikini underneath on the back was a perfect cut diamond that showed off her beautiful skin, she had short hair that brushed out to the sides, and just like Porrim she also had on thick black lipstick.

"You're right Kanaya, if I do get angry I could get wrinkles, and if I get wrinkles I would then get grey hairs and then I would become old." There was genuine fear that came across Porrim's face, "Wait I think I read somewhere that if you are nice to anybody, you would look 10 years younger that should balance it out right."

Terezi was about to make a retort before she was became suffocated by Porrim's busty chest, all Karkat saw was Terezi's arms fail around while she made muffle sounds between Porrim's breast while Porrim made a hushing noise, Sollux couldn't but chuckle at the sight while Kanaya made her way off towards the distance, "Hey come on you buffoons if you don't hurry up you're going to miss the waves, now move it or lose it." Karkat started to make a slow jog towards Kanaya, half way towards her. Karkat turn around towards Porrim and Terezi, "And Porrim, if you haven't notice, Terezi stop moving her arms about a minute ago, it be a shame if she died right between your mountain of a chest."

And just like a scene from some stupid comedy, Porrim grabbed both Terezi's shoulders and pulled her out between her breasts, there was a gasp that came out from Terezi followed by more hushing, Sollux was laughing loudly now, how the sound of his laugh always brought him down, Sollux immediately brought it to a halt; he hated his laugh more than anything, he hated the way it sounded, how it was pitched, and how it was so different from everybody else's laugh, which is why he always brought it to a chuckle.

Sollux waved towards Porrim to follow and keep up before running backwards into somebody, his head made a loud thud against his broad before his body meet the person he bumped into, "Aw shit sorry about that, should've watch where I was going-"and like that he was lost in a beautiful pair of rust brown eyes, they had a slight tint in them that made them look almost red.

"It's fine, I saw your surf broad hit your head are you alright, should I go get you some help?" The person spoke in a slight concern voice, it was light as a feather yet it had character in it.

Sollux didn't feel pain at all, he knew he was hit but there was no pain, just before her smell became to intoxicating for him, he heard a pair of footsteps running in his general location, "Hey Sollux you okay, I saw what happen, you should really pay more attention as to where you're going." As he turn he saw Porrim's leg slightly kick him in the side of the stomach, "Not only that but what if you hurt the other person, what would you do then, what if it was a kid, you would have to go to their parental guardian and apologize to their face and I'd make sure of it, what if it was a really huge buff guy? I would have to seduce him to make sure he doesn't kick your ass, and maybe go on a few dates with him." and just like that she was lost in her imagination.

"Relax I'm fine, there's nothing wrong on me, see perfectly normal." The girl stood up and wiped the sand cleanly off her to show her beautifully tanned skin, Sollux couldn't help but notice it as he sat up grabbing his side, "Well I have to go, I promise my sister I get her some snow cones."

"Wait you sure you don't want me to come, I mean it's the least I could do." Sollux stood up with his broad in hand, dusting himself off. He couldn't help but feel guilty about making her trip.

"No its okay, I'm pretty sure I can handle it." The girl turned around and slowly started to jog away before Sollux could try and convince her to let him help out, but instead of trying to stop her he just slowly raised his hand and tried not to whisper _don't go_.

Terezi walked slowly and bumped into Porrim, "Hey I just heard somebody fall, what happen, is anybody bleeding, and I'm willing to be a lawyer, at the right price." Terezi raised her hand and slowly moved both her index finger and thumb together to signal the sign of money before Porrim smacked her upside the head. "I'm joking, but on another note, I heard a different voice whose was it."

"I don't know, but I wished I did." Sollux stared off at the crowed the slowly began to take the spot of where the girl with rusty eyes walked off to.


End file.
